Flutoutio Born, American Raised. introduction and chapter 1 part 1

Attention!!!! this is just a book divided into sections to be put on a blog. the reality of this is Bullshit, and with bullshit comes a great deal of shit and a awful lot of bull. Shitbull. so when reading the events of this book and saying "unrealistic Fuckwad" remember this is a fictional book written in autobiography format. Wait theres more!! that's right for my own cruel purposes I will add just a hint of reality. just a hint. a Teaspoon of Truth syrup over a nice Falsehood Pancake. So sit back enjoy this fucking Crepe of a lie.

Also, there is going to be a bit of swearing. words like ass, cunt, shit, fuck, Damn, and others you don't even know are offensive. remember that these words are words and sticks and stones may hurt you, but words will hurt you. Unless, your cruel, a carve out the word then stab someone with a glued up stone words. Then Fail in argument.

So, Let the bullshiting lies began, cause after all we're all going to die later on.

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chapter 1: Not of this earth

Since i was little, I felt I didn't belong. Just random things would cause me to think out loud "dale your not of this earth". proof was hard to get, i spent many hours on where i was born, though i didn't research fuck on aliens or astronomy, I did self research. the kind of research that you go inside to find, hence self research. This sort of research prove favorable to me, cause in a vision I had learned a great deal of my heritage. And the little big suburbia town in Maine came one in a outer planet Called Flutoutio.

In this dream I had learn't that long ago ( and by long i mean 19 years) I was born of a alien witch who had been charge with treason. You see on that planet magic is allowed for simple things like snaping out toast but for murder thats a big Inn Oh. No.

You see Fluties are given 45 Magic bucks every week for there magical reasons. they can't go over that ration or there magic will be suspended for 12 hours minimum and Death maximum. They don't fuck around. there is an old flutoem that demonstrates this reality of theres

Magic is good and magic is bad, magic helps us and magic destroys us use your magic for good and live good and prosperous tenfold however use it for bad get eaten by the beast of the cell block 13

You may say what does this have to do with you, and patience mother fuckers. I'm getting to that.

There once was a witch name Iglobia. she was a beauty and she knew it. she would whore around for cash then cast a spell. this spell was a once a kind. a sadistic cruel Deadly curse. you may not think that I'm being serious. but ask one of the victims that survived.

Bible stories with D. Ry

Story one is Called Listen or else.

Once upon a daisy ago, back when everyone was tuned into 104.7 God Fm. There were two Young angels. For story sakes we will call them Matt and Ant. Mat and ant were working for the man upstairs, Jehovah. Who had sent them to Destroy the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah. A two town Apocalypse if you would. now when they got there they met lot who had offered them a place to stay. before I go one two things have to be addressed here. Lot Uncle Abraham had pleaded with god to save lot. and second yes lot somehow knew that the strangers were angels.

Back to the story, The angels at first said no but who can say no to foot baths and food. I know I can't. So they stayed. got they feet washed and ate a feast. They were about to go to be when everyone one in town was at lots door ready to have there way with the angels. Lot, was stunned. and stupid. He had offered his two daughters but this would not do. the neighbors almost made there way into the house when Matt dragged Lot in and Ant told him they were angels of destruction sent by the lord to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah for they sin bad. they then told him to run to hills and not look back. after some debate they agree lot could run to a ghost town and stay while they made skin soup out of the sinners. so they were on there way to Zoar. When Lots wife who wasn't important to mention till now, looked back and saw the firey brimstone and turned to a pillar of salt.

so what can we learn here. We learned that when god says run and don't look back, he means run, don't look back, or else. which lots wife had learned the hard way.

Let's Break the ice here. I am a founder of so many web things. like the whale snail and the Godosaurus Rex. And now the flunking noose. I want people who follow me. Even if its just one of you. thats all i need is one die hard fan. to know that all is going on still

surprise!!!!. not

theres a certain element that comes with surprises that I have grown to despise, I being the Unwilling participant in an intellects chaotic Lampoon of Suspense (cat) and affect (mouse). For example a father and a mother might want to keep it a surprise to themselves the babies gender. Now both got their hearts out on a boy, even going as far as buying boy clothes. they got the name Kristopher picked out. everything is golden in there twisted reality. Then the delivery proves the opposite, the couple gave birth to two twin girls.

The suspense in that is not knowing and with not knowing comes consequences. there we have the affect, the couple have to come up with two girls name and get hand me downs from friends.

moving onto something that fits by humble life. I like tv shows. Adore them to the point of no return. I, however do not enjoy the sweet plot device known as a cliffhanger. whos dead, who cheated on who, who found the golden ticket. all too much for a three and a half month wait. Why.

So, If you know better, don't surprise me. or else you will get a surprise yourself.

Cancer!!!

Scientist Have all agreed that people born between The 21st of June and the 23rd of July all need to seek a nearby hospital cause you lot have cancer. Thats right Cancer that sickness that killed dear aunt Jill by making them puke for year, due chemotherapy, then finally letting her buy the farm. But don't get yourself all in a bunch there a cures and symptoms

Telltale signs include being unable to take advice (At all), so if someone is coming at you with a Cleaver cause you told them that there eyes are better off with the green outfit, they have cancer. I do not suggest that you go around telling advice, cause some folks just don't want to hear it, and will do anything including murder to get away from this. According to some scientist that this is the silver to there werewolf, The garlic to there vampire, and so forth

another sign is maternal instinct. so if your in a elevator and some random person be it male or female licks there finger to get something off there face. they got cancer. I can hear some of you all say, my mother does that how do we know, and the truth is we don't so off to the ward they go. Remember that you love them if they make a fuss, and remind yourself there is no second option.

now, Some of you lot want evidence and thats understandable. But the cold hard Facts are there is none, it just is. Scientist are unable to to find to Subject zero of this phenomenon. They do however have some great cures that you can buy at your local store called Cancer: The Cookbook. They gave us one for you as a sampler of what fine product this is. and trust me I bought five copies.

OK this homemade cure is simple. And only an idiot could make this a recipe for disaster. So advise you do this with a group just to be on the cautious side.

Semi-Cure #1: First step: Panic, then grab an ax and go to the highest mountain south of you Second step: climb the mountain, and make sure you find five pine trees Third step: Chop them Down. and build a riverboat and get far away from us. forth step: find a remote island and start your own little cancer society. Fifth step: don't forget to forget us.

Fantastic is it not? A winning success. So remember if you are born towards the end of June or most of July, that you got cancer. This is D. Ry Scott Hu'chnson saying that I may have an invisible twin but at least I don't got cancer. Sorry!

Happy New Years Everyone, to celebrate this wondrous event, I thought I would tell you something interesting. Now, are you sitting comfortable? Good, Now we shall began, once upon a time, about 70000 million years ago, or was it last week? Terrible memory, Anyway so here I was thinking to myself, Dale whats up with you not posting on your blog then all of a sudden there it was, a sign. a calling, My omen of good luck, it was beautiful but yet fantastic....the Dog bullocks. what was it? twas a big whole array of things, but if I had to sum it up into one word? Kaput. Thats right the said thing was but a distant dream cluttered in the bygone minutes.

Shame and Guilt on my face to show that I too can forget, and feel lousy, but its not all bad news, some good news that the Mayans thought this was the last year, the final moments, the point where all the earths problems encysted would be pop by a giant point meteoroid. So if there right, and who would dare argue the intellect of Pre-Columbian Mesoamerican civilization, I know I don't. Sarcastic look on face, eyes different story.

I am dale, And this is 2011 Flucking News.

Presidento Goes Insano

it can be hard to be the president, Esp. one in times like these. Take for example the Kool-Aid spill in the Altantic Ocean. Now that was a doosey of a challenge, with ideas that the Kool-Aid company thought would be appropriate for at home morons to put there two cents in for a situation that they have no previous experience in. Yep the president must of been whacking his head at some of the ideas.

I mean what type of person tells the president to send in an army of a thousand Young "fatties" to drink it up. Well that may solve the Kool-Aid problem but then with his luck the public would then panic again. The reason would be obvious diabetes that the overweight participants endured while drinking for our countries safety, We can see the mothers asking for a physical accolade the brave gulpers be presented to them. Get real!

Then when his own son was caught in the middle of a sex Scandal, The press was all over that like stink on Crap. Saying that the president should of had a better eye on the lad. are you for real? its like the publishers want the president to suffer. then for no reasons i can see, he had to justify his sons wrong doings with a public statement that went as following

"American People, So I guess you've Read or heard that my son Patrick was part of a sex scandal. if not that then let me be the first to say that this was a combination of bad parenting and social influence. Social influences like Californication and south park. Influences that have no place in our current broadcasting, they led my boy down a deep dark road in infidelity. Though I can't take the shows of air, I can try to reason to the creators to create a show about good Christan values. In closing, all i can say is that pat is in therapy and we are trying to move on"

there you have it the shred of proof that shows our president needs to be put in an institution. How dare he attack our Countries most beloved television shows. because his son is sex addict. thats like saying that the kid who shot up the school did it cause the Kool-Aid Sucks there. we can not have our own president saying asinine things like this. it prooves he is an ass, and furthermore he is unfit for office.